It's beautiful outside. For a while I would never have thought I would see that clear blue sky ever again.
Yeah, winter has this effect on me. I had this thought that I would love to move and live forever in Finland. But the backfire would be the weather. I don't really like winter much and the thought of not seeing the clear sky and the sun too often is a bit unbearable.
It's beautiful! The city is as dirty as ever but still...something is different. I can feel the heat on my face. I just love to sit outside and chill, hang-out...whatever. The inside has been like a trap, and I finally broke free!
The feelings I have...are unique! It's joy. Fuck...it's happiness...just out of nowhere. I feel vivid, strong...stronger than ever. Yet I am missing something.
We are falling...
What's weird is that we are barely communicating. What the hell is wrong? What happened? I can barely reach you and you're probably struggling to do the same. It's so frustrating that I don't have words to describe it. I can't share this...joy...I can't share it with you. Fuck! We forgot what was the most important, we're just so different lately.
And I hate it. And I hate this happens. I'm not the one to say who bears the guilt. Probably it's both...would you agree? Fuck!
I am so angry. On you, on the rest of the world, of how everything ticks in a totally different way than it should. It's so confusing, to be so happy on the outside because it's finally spring but to just bleed on the inside because of this. We've lost contact. We're no different from two persons with no connection. Whatever I say it just pisses you off and whatever you say intrigues me so much that I feel lost.
It's beautiful! But beauty is like sand in a hourglass. It's constantly dropping till there's nothing left.
The question is...will we work this out somehow or we'll just let it pass by.
And what about the outcome of all this?